Wednesday, 12 June 2019

FOR FATHER'S DAY


Since Father’s Day will be on Sunday, I decided to post something about my own father.  I wrote the following piece in 2003, long after he had passed away, but it still encapsulates his legacy to me.


MY FATHER, MY STRENGTH AND SECURITY

            I never fully appreciated the wealth of love and security my father represented in my life until after he died.  Like many only daughters, I think I took him for granted.  His love for me after I was eight years old was never expressed in hugs or kisses or words.  But it was very tangible in other ways.

            My two younger brothers and I grew up not wanting for anything.  We weren’t wealthy, but usually had more than most of our friends.  We had generous allowances for chores we did, and Dad always made sure we could earn more by doing more.  And sometimes he would just give to us because he had money to give.  Looking back, I am amazed at how incredibly generous he was.  When he made his money, it all went to his family.  And he was so proud and happy that he was able to give.

            Dad worked hard all his life until he retired, but I never once heard him complain or indulge in self-pity.  Nor did he condone those sentiments in others.  He would be the first to tell us if we didn’t like something we should get busy to change it.  He was honest and he had integrity.  If he gave his word, he lived up to it.  He set an ideal I still try to emulate.  More than nine years after his death, I am chagrined at how much I didn’t see when he was alive.

            Nor did I see how many times he was there for me.  When I was seriously injured in a car accident, he babysat my son so my husband and my mother could be with me in hospital almost every day over a three-month period.  He also made sure I had the best lawyer to represent me in subsequent civil litigation.  He had helped my husband and me start our own business.  He helped us buy our second house.  He made sure money was available if my children needed anything.

            When my marriage ended and I gained custody of my children, Dad took us in until I could manage to provide a home again.  Through the next ten years of single parenting, Dad would be there to guide my son, to spoil my daughter, to supply the extras for all of us.  And he was always the one I called for home repairs and landscaping needs.  He was growing older and getting tired, but he never said “no”.  He was my source of security.  I would be all right as long as I knew my Dad was nearby.

            In 1992, Dad was diagnosed with cancer and his health deteriorated over the next eighteen months.  He suffered horrendous pain, but he never complained.  He would just quietly ask to be left alone.  Before his death, I asked him to put his financial papers all together in one place, so I would know where to find them.  He labeled and filed everything meticulously.  And then he did more.  He put the house, the car and all the money in my mother’s name.  There would be nothing to probate upon his death.

            We had one conversation where Dad told me he wasn’t afraid of dying, only of not being there to take care of my Mom.  I told him I would do the best I could.

            On December 6th of 1993, Dad’s doctor told him it was time to be hospitalized.  His condition and his pain could no longer be managed at home.  Dad had already said he didn’t want any measures taken to prolong his life.  He asked me to drive him to the hospital.  He had one small bag and wanted nothing else.  I drove him to the door, but he asked me not to come inside with him.  Before he got out of the car, he leaned over and kissed me good-bye.  He had never done that before.  That was Dad’s special farewell to me.

            I took Mom to see him every day as he was fading from this world.  Dad passed away the morning of Christmas Eve, 1993.

            It is only now that I see his lasting legacy.  I see it in my own determination to live with honour and integrity.  I see it in my son and daughter’s eagerness to be self-supporting.  I see it in my Mother’s continued love and generosity to all her family.  His body is no longer with us, but the essence of this remarkable man still blesses his whole family.

______________________________
By Lisa A. Hatton


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